Don’t bother trying to prove them wrong
Earlier this month I had a conversation with an athlete that inspired me to share this insight…
The athlete told me about a new coach who came into his environment and—fairly quickly—judged him as ‘not being good enough.’ No clear explanation. No developmental plan. Just a quiet but unmistakable withdrawal of belief.
He said to me, “Coach, I just want to prove him wrong so badly.”
And I told him something that initially caught him off guard:
“The more energy you put into proving him wrong, the less belief you’ll actually have in yourself.”
The Trap of Needing to Prove Yourself
At some point, every athlete runs into this.
A new coach or ‘system’’ arrives.
A teammate loses trust.
Suddenly, performance becomes less about growth and more about validation. This is where you need to stop and think - You’re not training to get better—you’re training to prove yourself; to ‘show’ them.
That’s a dangerous place to live.
Because here’s the hard truth: there will always be people who will never believe in you—no matter what you do.
Stop Trying to Convince the Unconvinced
You can’t prove anything to someone who has already decided what they want to believe.
Sport is full of this.
There are people who genuinely believe George Kittle “isn’t that good at football.”
You can show them all his stats.
If that doesn’t convince them, nothing will.
Where Real Confidence Actually Comes From
If your confidence depends on proving someone wrong, it will always be fragile. It will be FALSE.
Because it’s external (outside of yourself)
Because it’s reactive and emotional.
It gives other people control over how you feel about yourself.
Quality people in sport—coaches, teammates, mentors—will change their opinions when your work, habits, and performance consistently speak for themselves.
But there will always be a small percentage who have already made up their minds.
And sometimes, unfortunately, that person is the coach.
Transformation occurs
The moment you stop trying to prove yourself…
Your training becomes more intentional
Your confidence becomes more robust
Your focus shifts back to what you can control
That’s when real belief starts to grow.
Not because someone finally acknowledged you—but because you no longer need them to.
NEVER EVER give power to people who were never invested in your growth in the first place.
Do the work.
Stay patient.
Let your performance speak.
And remember: confidence isn’t built by proving others wrong—it’s built by knowing who you are, regardless of who’s watching.
